When opinions become personal verdicts

Hey friends, I’m starting a new series called Imposter.

It’s close to my heart because... I’ve been there. It show up in many ways: the weight of design feedback, the pressure of comparison, and the pull of perfectionism. All these efforts, just to keep running on a validation treadmill that has no finish line. These are the moments that hit me the most. They became the roots of my own imposter story.

I want to start with feedback. It’s part of our everyday rhythm as designers, and the way we receive and process it often decides whether we grow or spiral.

You’ve poured your heart into a design: the thinking, the care, the small details no one else may even notice, and then someone glances at it and says, “Hmm, not sure this works.” 😄

Even with a good rationale, that comment can still offend you. That’s the tricky thing about our craft. Everyone, designers or non-designers, they all have an opinion and a lens they bring to the table. And when you care deeply about the work but don’t receive and process the critique with God’s wisdom, any form of feedback, objective or not, can feel like a personal verdict.

The lie and the truth: how God designed critique

When that happens, we overthink every comment, trying to change what we can’t control. We just want people to see our work the same way we do.

When the outcome doesn’t match our expectation, we get defensive. It feels like a direct hit to our fragile sense of competence. Slowly, we start questioning ourselves, feeling like imposters.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. God designed correction not as condemnation, but as an essential part of growth. Design feedback isn’t a personal debt to pay, it isn’t about you. He wants to strengthen what you design and deepen your capacity to receive critique, allowing for powerful personal growth, not question your worth.

The Apostle James wrote this:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)

Notice how James frames wisdom as an act of restraint. While the literal meaning is true, James is also saying: "Let's slow down, team. Think before we respond." This intentional pause, between listening and responding, is your processing window. This is where God’s wisdom helps you process what you hear and discern how to act, preventing your emotions from taking control.

Quick to listen: the humble input

Quick to listen is about humility. Your attitude in receiving feedback will shape whether you see it as a way to grow stronger as a designer, or as a freeway to defensiveness and defeat.

Being quick to listen means staying open even when feedback hits something tender. It’s letting yourself hear what’s being said without letting it define who you are. You’re acknowledging that another person has noticed something you might’ve missed. And that’s okay. You don’t know what you don’t know.

And if you notice yourself getting defensive, that’s not failure. It’s usually just a sign that something deeper feels threatened. Sometimes, defensiveness isn’t pride, it’s protection. It’s what happens when feedback brushes too close to that hidden fear of not being good enough.

So, a calm, simple response like “Thanks, that’s good feedback” is a good step to learn. It shows you’re choosing reception over reaction regardless if you agree or not.

Then pause. Ask God for wisdom for discernment. Recognize what’s truly helpful for the product, and release what’s just noise or preference. Don’t rush to act. Process.

When you listen this way, you’re no longer trying to prove your worth through your work. You’re trusting that God already settled that, and feedback isn’t there to expose your weakness, but to strengthen what He’s building in you.

Intentionally lean on your team's strengths

Learning to be quick to listen doesn’t stop with feedback on your own designs. It also means listening beyond yourself, to the people God’s already placed around you.

Design is a team sport. Even if you’re the only designer in your company, you’re still surrounded by people whose strengths can make you better. Growth happens when you start seeing your team not just as stakeholders, but as partners in your own development.

In my case, I’ve got a teammate who’s brilliant at mobile. That’s an area I’m still growing in. So when I’m working on something responsive, I’ll ask him to take a look,.. not to validate my work, but to strengthen it.

Or there’s a marketing teammate who deeply understands the top-of-funnel experience. When I’m exploring new entry points, I’ll run my ideas by her. Her insights often reveal things I didn’t even know to look for.

Humility here isn’t just about being open to critique. It’s about embracing a community-based growth mindset, one where you lean on your team’s strengths to grow both yourself and the product.

Things to consider:

  • If you naturally prefer working solo, embrace this mindset anyway. It’s not about creating dependency. It’s about recognizing that design grows stronger through shared perspective. The goal isn’t to lose your voice, but to refine it together.
  • If you’ve ever dismissed non-designer feedback as less valuable, try changing that lens. Your non-designer teammates are often your closest representation of real users. Their perspective helps you see the product through eyes untouched by design bias.

Slow to speak and slow to anger: the processing window

While Quick to listen is about what you do, this second part is about restraint—what you hold back. It’s the difference between embracing the opportunity for growth and spiraling.

Why does this matter? Because our natural impulse is to become emotional, defensive, and often dejected or defeated. When you slow down, you make space for the Holy Spirit to speak over you instead of letting your emotions take the lead. He empowers you to process feedback objectively.

So instead of reacting, you start processing and asking the right questions:
• “What’s the real problem they’re seeing, even if their solution isn’t right?”
• “If I separate my worth from this work, what truth might I need to adapt?”
• “Which parts of this can make my design better?”

When truth steadies the heart

Nothing, not even the hardest feedback can change your standing with God. Your worth is settled. He already sees you as a good designer. That truth frees you from striving and gives you the capacity to absorb critique without being drowned by it.

This mindset shift lets you be corrected without feeling rejected. You start to approach feedback with curiosity instead of fear, and that curiosity becomes the mark of growth.

So when feedback hits hard and you feel that wave of doubt, remember: the goal isn’t to defend yourself, but to move from reaction to reflection by anchoring in your secure identity in Christ.

🫶 Thanks for reading, friends.
This one was close to my heart. If it helps even one of you breathe easier in the face of feedback, then that’s worth it. Feedback will never stop being part of what we do, but it doesn’t have to define who we are. I hope this helps you walk into your next critique a little lighter, a little freer, and a little more anchored in who you already are in Him.